Editor's Note: "Borderlines," BAMHS' periodic newsletter, provides ideas and suggestions for healthy living, better family life and successful strategies for coping with life's challenges. Our newsletter is updated frequently! Check back often.
Border Area Mental Health Services
is the largest provider of behavioral health services in southwest New Mexico.
We're here to help.
Posted: August 20, 2008 Last Updated: August 20, 2008
Parents trying to open the lines of communication with
their children can be faced with one-word replies, but it’s important to your
child not to let that one word stand. A simple reply from your child of “good,”
“boring” or “nothing” can’t encapsulate the experiences of an entire day.
Parents need to draw their children into open communication and not leave their
attempt to be that one word reply.
Parent and child communication is very important in the
formative years. A Nickelodeon “Talking with Kids” survey found sixty percent
of 8-11 year olds and 56 percent of 12-15 year olds say they learn “a lot” from
their mothers about issues like sex, alcohol, drugs and violence. Most youth
turn to their parents before their teachers, classes, the media, and friends.
Its imperative for parents to keep those lines of communication open so kids
can ask about the aforementioned serious issues.
Here are some suggestions for breaching the one-word reply
barrier.
Ask
about lunch. Lunchtime is where most children socialize with friends and tend
to experience social problems as well, like bullying. A simple question about
what they had for lunch can spark an entire conversation about the food and the
friends they shared it with.
Each day
talk to your child about what happened in class. Ask questions about what your
child has to say and/or give positive feedback about his or her experiences.
Open up
yourself. Sometimes children don’t know what you expect them to discuss with
you. Try recounting some of the experiences in your day and how they made you
feel. This allows children to realize everyone, including mom and dad,
experiences challenges, failures and successes in life.
Attend school functions and stay involved in
your child’s education. Children whose parents are more involved with their
education have higher achievement, are better adjusted and are less likely to
drop out of school. Also, teachers will have insights into your children’s
behavior and social life outside the home. Don’t be afraid to ask how your
child’s behavior is doing when out of your sight.
Don’t shy away from uncomfortable questions.
Most parents put the breaks on uncomfortable or controversial conversations
with children about sex, alcohol, drugs and violence. Try to be supportive,
listen to their questions seriously and discuss what you expect as a parent,
instead of resorting to silence or outrage. If you are uncertain how to respond
simply say, “I need to think about how to answer that,” and consult with an
expert like a counselor, doctor, school official, or clergy. No one has all the
answers. As a parent you might need help or information to find the right
answer for your child’s question.
It can take time
and effort to keep the lines of communication open with your child, but in the
long run the time you spend conversing with your child now will help them be
more successful and happy as they reach adulthood. And most importantly
confront the challenges of life knowing they have a parent willing to listen to
their problems and support them with love and understanding.
To learn more about opening the lines of communication
between your child and you call
Border Area Mental Health Services. To reach Border Area Mental Health Services
in Grant and Hidalgo Counties, call 388-4412; in Catron County, call 533-6649
for referral; in Luna County, call 546-2174.
For CRISIS, call 538-3488 or outside Silver City, call 1-800-426-0997.
