Although it’s always been around, bullying should never be accepted as normal behavior. The feelings experienced by victims of bullying are painful and lasting. Bullies, if not stopped, can progress to more serious, antisocial or criminal behavior. Recent incidents of school violence show that bullying can have tragic consequences for individuals, families, schools, and entire communities.

Bullying is aggressive behavior. A child is targeted by one or more youths with repeated negative actions over a period of time. These are intentional attempts to cause discomfort or injury and can include name-calling, making faces, obscene gesturing, malicious teasing, threats, rumors, physical hitting, kicking, pushing, and choking. More subtle is simply excluding a child from the group. Generally, bullying occurs when there’s an imbalance of power favoring the bully. Victims usually feel they don’t have the strength to defend themselves. Make no mistake; bullying is a form of violence that shouldn’t be tolerated.

As a parent, there are steps you can take to prevent bullying:

Start early. Parent/child talks are critical. Teach kids to respect others before they start school and continue to talk about this topic. Even small acts of teasing should be stopped immediately. Don’t fail to correct this kind of behavior due to a child’s young age. This is exactly when to stop it.

Teach your children how to be assertive. Encourage your children to express their feelings clearly, say “no” when they feel uncomfortable or pressured, and stand up for themselves without fighting, and to walk away from dangerous situations. Bullies are less likely to intimidate children who are confident and resourceful.

Stop bullying when you see it. Adults who remain silent when children are bullying others give permission to the behavior. Remember that bullying isn’t always physical violence. It can be name-calling, social exclusion and/or rumor spreading. Be aware of your children’s friends and social situation. Confront questionable behaviors in children’s peer group and discuss the situation.

Tell your child to take action when they see bullying. Tell them to speak out against the bully and/or inform a teacher or adult of the behavior. Remind children not to place themselves in dangerous situations, instead children should seek help from authority to confront the problem. Bullying continues only when we allow it to. Studies on bullying have found that if confronted bullying will quickly stop. The old belief that confronting the situation will only make the bullying worse has been proven false.

Many schools have policies on bullying and parent/school committees dedicated to preventing bullying. If your child is having problems with a bully urge the child to speak with a principal or teacher about the situation. It’s likely your child isn’t the only victim of the bully.

If you would like to learn more ways to prevent bullying or speak with your child about bullying contact Border Area Mental Health Services. To reach Border Area Mental Health Services in Grant and Hidalgo Counties, call 388-4412; in Catron County, call 533-6649; in Luna County, call 546-2174. For CRISIS, call 538-3488 or outside Silver City, call 1-800-426-0997.