Grief for the loss of a loved one is a universal experience. We will all lose someone we love during the course of our life, but grief is one of the least accepted emotion in our society. People don’t know how to express their personal grief, much less console someone who is suffering from a recent loss.  The bereavement period after a death is stressful for families and can cause a major emotional crisis.

Those experiencing grief may experience a wide range of emotion after the death of a loved one, even if it is expected. The most common is an initial stage of numbness after learning of the death. After that there is no real order to the experience emotional loss has on a person. People can be in denial, express disbelief, show signs of shock and confusions, yearn for the return of the loved one, and experience anger and despair. All these feelings are normal reactions to loss. The intensity of these emotions can be overwhelming at times. They also might last longer than one would expect.

 One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that it should be over quickly. No one recovers in a day from the grief caused by the loss of a loved one, it is a process that must be worked through so you can come to terms with your loss. This process of accepting major loss is called mourning, and it can last for months or years depending on the individual.

Expressing your emotions at this time is critical to help solve those feelings and come to terms with your grief. Many times people are hesitant to speak about death. In our society death and all it entails is avoided, but to mourn and grieve is a fundamental part of human nature. If you repress of ignore your emotions they may cause physical or emotional illness.

Many people report physical illness accompanying grief. Loss of appetite, sleep disruptions and stomach pain are all common symptoms of grief. Emotional reactions to grief can include anxiety attacks, depression, and fatigue.

But coping with the death of a loved one is vital to a person’s mental heath. The best thing you can do is allow yourself or the person suffering the loss time to grieve. There are many ways to cope effectively with grief and the emotions it inspires. Here are a few ideas on where to start:

·   Seek the company of others who can understand what you are going through. There are support groups for grieving people in most communities that can offer support and understanding. Hospitals and funeral homes can refer you to the support groups.

·   Express your feelings. This can help you work through the grieving process more effectively.

·   Be aware of your health. The stress of losing a loved one can worsen existing conditions or create new ones. Be certain to eat well and get enough sleep, 8 to 10 hours a night is sufficient but more than that can signal depression.

·   Postpone major life changes as they will add more stress to you and your body. Give yourself sufficient time to adjust to your loss before taking on any major changes in your life.

·   Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.

·   Seek outside help, like counseling, if your grief seems overwhelming. Professional counseling can help you work through your grief.

To learn more about grief counseling call Border Area Mental Health Services. To reach Border Area Mental Health Services in Grant and Hidalgo Counties, call 388-4412; in Catron County, call 533-6649 for referral; in Luna County, call 546-2174.  For CRISIS, call 538-3488 or outside Silver City, call 1-800-426-0997.